Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
See, I was absentmindely reading news articles on the internet today ( during work hours - i know how to waste time too... ) and I came across an article about Hallmark producing greeting cards for same sex marriages. I'd link to the article but the article itself is of little consequence really. No, its not the article that has me riled up but the barrage of comments left after it. Frankly, some people are dipshits.
Just to clarify - I am not gay. I like men ( although I'm starting to think that maybe they dont like me so much, but thats a whole other post ). So, yea, I like men, but I also like men who love men, and women who love women. I'm just in love with the human race so it doesnt matter to me who each specific human happens to be in love with. I also do not give two figs about who you choose to have sex with either ( unless you're into man+dog=love, or woman+horse=love - that shit is just sick! ) Basically I'm all for people, whether they be gay, straight, metro, retro, black, white, tran, tri, bi or otherwise. And not only am i for people, I am most definately for people being in love. So if your name is Elton and you love David, then I'm happy for you. If your name is Ellen and you're in love with Portia, then thats a beautiful thing. And if you all want to get married, then i wish you all the love and happiness in the world.
My bug bare is that not everybody else agrees with me. You know how when you're in love with someone there are still things about them that you might not like ? Yea, well like i said i'm in love with the human race but the thing i dont like so much is those of us who are close-minded, abusive and inconsiderate. The first comment after the article was a " God thinks homosexuals are wrong " rant, and it just carried on from there. Of course there were individuals such as myself defending the right to love whom you choose, and the right to marry whom you choose, but the majority of commenters were being downright homphobic and, frankly, disgusting in their arrogance and, in some cases, hypocrisy.
So many of the commenters claimed to be good, upstanding Christians who were disgusted in the fact that Hallmark would produce such trash in support of what is morally wrong and a deadly sin. Firstly - love is a sin now ? Secondly, I was rasied Catholic ( until the age of 15 when i told my priest that i didnt believe in God ) , I've read the Bible, and i distinctly remember the part about love thy neighbour and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So why are these supposedly Good Samaritans treating others like dirt ? I'm sure they dont appreciate it when people call them, oh, i dont know , brainwashed red-knecked Bible bashers, so according to the book and, indeed the God they so revere, they should be treating gays and lesbians with the utmost respect. Thats what gets me about the Christian faith, or at least the way it has ingrained itself in society - so much of it has been twisted and warped and is nothing like the author of the stories intended. Yep, i said stories....
The second thing that got me about some of the comments was people who were saying they were against same sex marriage because marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman. By whom exactly ? By law makers ? By some fat old men hundreds of years ago ? Newsflash for those people - laws can be changed! Definitions can change too. Funnily enough, not that long ago the most common definition of " gay " was completely different, so why cant the definition of marriage be changed? To me, marriage is about love, not biology. Marriage is the best expression of love, of being so completely enamoured of another person that you want to spend every day of the rest of your life with them. And as far as I'm aware that depth of love is not exclusive to a man-woman relationship, so why should marriage be exclusive to hetero couples only ? It just doesnt make logical sense.
And to those who said marriage was about having children - BBBBRT, wrong. Sex is about having children. What we know about human anatomy and biology says so. Sex is completely possible without marriage, and marriage is possible without children, so your theory makes no sense at all. The whole idea that being married is partly for the purpose of producing children is just another Christian idea thrust upon as all.
I dont want this to turn into a Chrsitian-bashing post, or an anti-religion rant. Far from it. Unlike so many deeply religious people, I dont try to push my ideas and beliefs upon others, and try to uphold a basic respect for others rights to their beliefs, no matter how ridiculous, backward or just plain wrong i think them to be.
So what about you people ? Any opinions on the topic, whether you're for or against gay marriage ? I'm not usually so politically charged or socially controversial, but sometimes things get under my skin....
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Anyhoodle, I just wanted to discuss the female obsession with shopping. Perhaps i'm being cliched here, but girls like shopping. More to the point, I like shopping, even if i'm not actually buying anything ( thats called " window shopping " for the uninitated ). Guess its that whole
" thril of the chase " thing - there's something about having a vague idea of what you want and going on the hunt for it. And yes, most times i will have a semi-formed idea of what i'm after - especially when shopping for clothes. Which is what i was doing this morning. However, being that I am not so financially well-endowed, I went shopping with a view to lay-by ( or lay-away as you American type people call it ).
I really like lay-by. I know its incredibly " old school ", but i still like it. Yes, i know you can just put things on your credit card and get them NOW but somehow i always forget to put regular payments on my credit card and then you end up in a little thing called debt ( argh! ). So I rather like being able to find the things i want but dont necessarily need right NOW ( its all about now!now!now! these days, isnt it? ) and being able to pay them off when i actually have a little cash. Plus, if i forget to go and make a regular payment, someone from the store will ring me and remind me - unlike the credit companys who will just keeping piling more payments ( hello interest charges... ) right on top of your bill.
And i know you fashionista's out there are saying - " But wont the things you put on lay-by be waaaaaaaaay out of fashion by the time you pay them off ? ". Well yes, they would be if you were into totally disposable fads. However, i'm not - i'm trying to fashion myself ( ha ha! unintended pun right there ! ) in the Audrey Hepburn/ timelessly/effortlessly chic mold. Which is hard to do on a budget in a country town, but i'm giving it a shot. Sure, i'll incorporate some of the seasons trends into my wardrobe, but only if they suit me. I pretty much like to stick by the " wear what suits your body shape " rule. If i had a dollar for everytime i'd seen somebody wearing a trend that didnt suit them - shout outs to cigarette pants, micro minis and floaty maxi dresses here - just because they were in fashion, i'd be able to afford to start my own fashion label ( which would be called House of Amy, because " Amy " is French. French is always fashionable ). So many times i just want to walk up to impressionable young women, shake the shit out of them and say " Who let you walk out the of the house like that ?!? Go buy yourself a nice pair of jeans, a tank top, and some ballet flats and you would look SO MUCH BETTER! ". And its not like i'm against freedom of fashion expression - Kate Moss, Chloe Sevigny and Lou Dilloin almost always look fabulous - but most women are not Kate Moss, Chloe Sevigny and Lou Dilloin. We regular type women are more, say, Rachel Bilson, Jennifer Aniston or Susan Sarandon - that is, to say, still totally cute, gorgeous and sexy, just less suitable to eclectic, crazy fashion.
So i'm not saying lets all get about looking like clones of each other - hell no! If you're into vintage indie cool, then be into it. If you're all pin-stripes and ballet flats preppiness, then rock the prep-college look. If you'd rather be all street, then wear you're Chuck Taylor hi-tops and hoodies with pride. Just please choose pieces that work with your body shape. I just wanted you all to look good people. I'm all about the beauty!
P.S I put a dress on layby for my almost three year old neice. Its a tiny little collared shirt dress, red with white polka dots and pintucked sleeves. Too cute! If they had an adult version in the store i would have totally bought it for myself!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
For those of you who dont know i'm a qualified dispensing optician and i manage an optometry practice. I've only been manager for a year and though i'm trained as a dispenser, i've had no formal training in how to manage a business. So when when Yogi comes in and start radically changing my frame displays, telling me i have far too much stock and need to implement better stock management and basically treating me like, for lack of a more politically correct term, a retard, well, its pisses me off a little. On the inside. I'm not giving them the satisfaction of letting them see how much they're annoying me. Score one to me!
The Bell is a little different - she's one of these people who is really good at giving back handed compliments or smiling encouragingly as she's giving you negative criticism. That annoys me - BIG TIME. She also drums into you how important certain aspects of the job are, but then gives you no help whatsoever in achieving the targets and cuts you down if you try and do anything proactive towards making the goal. I dont know whats more annoying really - Yogi treating me like an idiot, or The Bell treating me as intelligent, but inferior.
But screw all that. I've put up with them and now they're out of my hair. I can go in tomorrow and put my displays back the way I like them ( and the way they work in my store, not how they assume will be best ) and focus on my targets without feeling like im doing the crappiest job ever. And i know that might sound like i'm just really bad at taking direction and that i have no respect for authority, but thats not it either. Mainly its that they're coming from another city, another market, and assuming that works best for their clientele is going to work best in my branch too. Thats not the case. I just think its best to cater to the market you're servicing - give the people what they want, you know ?
Really, is any wonder i'm secretly applying for new positions in other companys left, right and centre ?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Anyhoo, all this Olypmic obsession has lead me to thinking - if i were an Olympian, which sport would i compete ? If i wanted all the glitz and glory, I'd have to be a swimmer, wouldnt i? The swimmers get all the limelight and the biggest front page spread when they win a gold. But, alas, I am not built like a swimmer ( that is, to say, long and lithe ) and besides, Australia's Stephanie Rice and Amanda Beard from the US have the swimming glamazon market pretty much cornered.
How bout a track athlete ? I used to compete at school athletics carnivals and I have a little collection of prize ribbons from placing in various events throughout my school years. I was a half decent sprinter by primary school standards - i represented my school at District and Regional level carnivals, and would have made it to the State representative carnival if my team mates and I could have afforded to go. I have the body for sprinting - i'm shorter and relatively muscular. The thighs I blame my fathers dodgy genetics for are not actually fat, but muscular enough to give me a massive power burst off the start line. Unfortunately, what i dont have is the ego required to be a sprinter - I'm not so good at preening and posing, and gold spikes just wouldnt go with my naturally pale white skin tone.
I wonder if i could be a gymnast. I did gymnastics for a while when i was in primary school but eventually my bum and aforementioned thighs grew too heavy ( no, not large.... ) and cumbersome to swing around. I think I could probably do a round off if i was forced to but anything else tumbling or flipping related would be off limits. One thing that would work in my favour is the fact that i'm over 16 years of age ( China, I'm pointing my finger suspiciously at your girls here.... ), plus I have a killer fake smile. Points in the minus column ? I cannot stand scrunchies and hair clip overkill. Why is that female gymnasts like doing their hair the way i did when i was 7 years old?
So, with all that in mind, i reckon i would have to be a weightlifter. Or a boxer, if females were allowed to box at the Olympics. Not exactly glamorous I know. Picture female weightlifters and you get a vision of short, squat, excessively facial haired women who could possibly be mistaken for men. Not a pretty sight by any means ( my apologies to any female weighlifters who are reading this.... ). But hey, I totally admire a woman who can lift twice her own body weight without snapping herself in half. Or any woman who could easily defend herself in a fistfight, if called upon. And besides, I would be the most girlie, glamorous, athletically gorgeous female weightlifter/boxer ever. Unitards, laced up boots and mouthguards by day, slip dresses, high heels and mascara by night.
Look out London 2012, make way Michael Phelps, get a room ready in the Olympic village - I am totally on my way!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Ommmm #2: My brother is so funny when he's pissy. He came round for dinner last night after having been at a bbq at a mates place all afternoon, and he'd had enough beer that he was in the state of " happiness " where you talk really fast, and you're face is kind of flushed and you find stuff really funny. We were playing a general knowledge trivia game and he's just blurting out the answers regardless of whether it was his turn or not. They werent the right answers, mind you - thats what made it funny. I think it might have answered maybe three questions correctly the whole game, but he never made it past the third square on the board. He kept landing on the " Move back three spaces " square, and having to go back to the start, every time expressing his mock disgust and saying how much this game sucked and we were all cheaters - and then bursting into laughter. Stupid, stupid, drunk child.
Ommmm #3: My two and half year old neice called me her " beautiful girl ". As in " Bye Aunty Amy, my beautiful girl! " Awwwwwwwwwww. Someone loves me.
Ommmmm #4: Remember the debacle with Mary and her sister? Her sister who was one of my best friends and that i felt completely betrayed by, to the point where I questioned the existence of the relationship in the future ? Yea, well I've hardly heard from her since she moved towns. She's been back a handful of times and she's promised each time " Hey, I'll come round and see you! ". And, each time, there has been an excuse and she hasnt shown up. This weekend just gone she was supposed to be back in town and we were going to go out for drinks and dance and guess what ? I didnt hear from her. Not even an " Oh, I cant make it excuse " - i just flat out didnt hear from her at all. Whatevs.
Ommmm #5: Today is Monday and tonight was the first night in two weeks that I have been to the gym. Frankly, I missed it. I'd been dying of the lurgy for almost a full two weeks and was just too tired and run down to do anything other than lie on my lounge reading a magazine or watching the Olympics ( gold everywhere for the Australians today..... boo yeah! ), so i didnt bother wrecking myself at the gym. But i really did miss the routine of it, and I have to admit i felt absolutely freaking fantastic after my workout tonight.
Everyone knows a woman glows more after a good workout, covered in sweat and cheeks flushed.....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
It was an online chat buddy who encouraged me to blog. We used to chat for hours on end : long, articulate, funny, often playfully argumentative discussions on topics that none of our " real life " friends cared to talk about. He'd started his own blog on the social networking site that we favoured and, after a few choice comments from me, asked me why i hadnt started mine yet. Why ? Well, why not ? To " web log " had never crossed my mind before, but the more i thought about it, the more sense it made. Truth be told, I have always been an avid writer; when i was a little girl i loved spending time in my room writing stories, reading through baby name books to make a shortlist of monikers for the various characters in my " novels ". This grew and morphed somewhat into a favouritism for poetry, most often written when i was low and/or angry. In my late teens i kept an exercise book full of my poems with me almost all the time and pulled it out whenever i had something i needed to say. But it occured to me that everything in my poems was hidden, cryptic, metaphorical; why wasnt i saying what i really felt? Why wasnt i getting all those thoughts and feelings out, in honest and frank terms that any old person was going to be able to understand ? Why? I didnt know. So i started to keep a journal. Every night i wrote in a notebook the exact thoughts and feelings i was having that day - nothing hidden, nothing left out, no holds barred. It was pure and honest and raw. And it was good.
I dont necessarily mean the writing - whether that was good or not would be entirely up to the reader. And seeing as i was the only person who ever read my journals, i guess we'll never really get an unbiased opinion on that. No, what i meant was that writing itself was good. The putting of thought to pen to paper was cathartic - it didnt matter that nobody else was reading it, just to free all the thoughts from my over-active mind was cleansing in itself. So, when the idea of having my own blog was put to me, a journal which was their for everybody - nay, anybody - to read, i thought it couldnt be anything other than a better version of that first baptism by written word. And it has been.
Blogging has brought me so much more than keeping a " regular ", old school journal. On top of bringing the sweet relief of unbottled emotion, blogging has opened up a whole new world of people and places. Blogging has introduced me not only to new friends, but new ideas, ideas that i would only have come across second or even third-hand without the blogosphere. Its brought me a support network that, despite being made up primarily of people i have never actually met, has been the sunshine on many a rainy day.Blogging has brought me a confidence that i am not the only weirdo in the world - that quiet often the things i thought were uniquely my problems are issues for other people to. It has lead me to see that i am, in fact, not alone. And that, my friends, is comforting.
Blogging may be the only part of my life where i dont follow a process. That is unless you count often incoherent rambling as a process in itself. I write as i think: quickly and often, without editing. That is to say i blog on a topic so quickly that i often dont stop to think what is that i am actually writing and this, in turn, means that very rarely self-censor. It has, on the odd occasion, meant that i have written about things that i probably shouldnt have, or at the very least, written too much detail, made things too personal. This is in opposition to my real life where i am very guarded, so readers of my blog should know that they getting the very core of me every time thy venture onto my page. I have written of battles with personal demons; of core events in my childhood that have shaped my emotional landscape; of sexual encounters, as few and far between as they are; and of regret, loss, pain and hope. These things are not so much about me but often they ARE me - the things i write about ( most often ) are the essence of who i am, and who i'm hoping to be. And they are true.
What else is true is the good that has come from blogging. The best thing that has come of my blogging thus far has been the relationships i've developed. I know its cliched to say " My blog helped me make friends! " but thats the answer to the question. So many of my friends and family question why i blog and just how genuine any relationships developed via the inetrnet are - but, in some cases, the fledgling relationships i have developed with fellow bloggers are the some of the most " real " relationships i have. Friendships developed via my blog ( and blogs the world over ) are based on personality, on brain and soul alone: they arent subjected to how pretty we are, how much money we have or how much power and influence we hold. They are based on a mutual attraction to ideas and attributes, and what could be more real than that? It may be a standardised answer, but the friendships i've made, the people i've come to know and love through nothing more than well written words, is the best thing i could have asked for from this whole blogging gig. Its the standard answer, but its true. And being true is always right.
I guess thats what i've been trying to say : blogging is right. Its the right fit. Its the right way. Its the right, and the real thing. The notion may be over-dramatic, but I've become addicted to this blog, and the others that i read. I'm able to share in the lives of others, and in turn share mine, and if sharing isnt caring, then i dont know what is.....
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
.....Me! Well, lookee here, i won me an award! A huuuuuuuuuuge thankyou to Steph of The Panic Room for sharing the love and telling the blogosphere that i am, indeed, brilliant. Now, apparently, i get the chance to share some blog love of my own. There are a couple of rules/guidelines to follow though:
1. I get to put the really cool sticker thingamajiggy on my blog. Please refer to the sparkly looking thing up there .
2. Set up alink to the person who nominated you. See the underlined bit up in that paragraph? Thats the link - go click it.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs. Well, rules are made to be broken - i dont know if i read seven other blogs that havent already been nominated, but we'll see how we go.
4.Link to those blogs too. Yep, i'm getting to that bit.
5. Leave a message in regards to the blogs you've nominated. Spruik them up a bit hey ?
Alright, here goes. The nominees are:
1. Sheena from If These Walls Could Talk - if you dont already know Sheena, where have you been ? Living under a rock? This woman rules the SA blog scene and rightly so. She's smart, sassy and quite often shit-in-your-pants funny. If you arent reading her blog ( and looking forward to her book .... ) then your missing out!
2. Miss Em from Can You Point Me To The Bar? - tales and tidbits from a fellow 20 Something Blogger. Em has just the right mix of love, laughter and lunacy that I love in a blog. She's a fellow Aussie chick, so if you cant enough of feirce and fabulous Australian women, go to her blog now...
3. Paula from Insert My Blog Name Here - Paula rocks. Paula is like the edgy, funny, adventurous, crazy girl next door. Maybe -if you lived in a flat in the city. Reading her blog, you get the feeling that if you DID live in the flat next door to hers, she'd invite you over for a few drinks and some Guitar Hero at 1am in the morning. Yep - Paula rocks.
4. Rob from Dash Does Kathmandu - this is a relatively new blog written by a not so new blog buddy of mine. Young Rob has bravely uprooted himself from cosy Australian suburbia and planted himself in Nepal. Rob was an insightful kind of guy before he left, he could always be counted for awesome conversation, so just imagine whats going to happen now that he's living the Third World life. Clink on the link and go with!
And those are all the nominees i could come up with. So aside from feeling quite chuffed with myself and flattered that anybody even reads this junk - let alone LIKES it - i came to the conclusion that i need to be reading more blogs. I need to discover new people, new lives, and new adventures - reading a good blog is like reading a good book only you know someone is ACTUALLY living and breathing the story, the thoughts, the feelings.
So i'm handing it over to you. Yep, you. The one reading this right now.I want everybody to send me the link to one really great blog that you think i'd like. The author can be boy, girl, any age, from any country, i dont care. Just recommend something you think i should see.
This is going to be fun!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Psychotic, anarchic, murderous clown Heath. Well kind of anyway - he wasnt dressed so much as the Joker but the Heath in my dream had the same kind of personality, only a little less trigger happy. He was angry and vengeful and warning that he was going to kill someone. I didnt see that - all I got from him was that he was lost, confused and scared, and so I went to him. And... yada, yada, yada, make up the nasty details for yourself. But the point is I was intensely sexually attracted to a slightly demented, and potentially dangerous, character played by an actor who is dead in real life.
This is not the first time I've noticed this odd dream attraction. Truth be told, and i've never really admitted it before, but I have had many the fantasy involving this man:
That is Brandon Lee, as he appears as Eric Draven in " The Crow ". I dont know how many of you have seen the film ( which i count as my all time favourite ) but basically Eric Draven is a guy who was murdered by neighbourhood thugs and returns from the grave to avenge his fiances violent death. Oh, also - Brandon Lee is dead. Do we see a pattern here ?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Dont get me wrong - its not like i go out and pick up strangers for a quick shag every weekend. And neither do i have a boyfriend who would be " sleeping " over. My point is now that i'm back with the parentals units, I cant. Remember RNG ? Well, he's still a really nice guy but i think he's destined to be a really nice guy " friend " rather than " boyfriend ". I think this can be partly blamed on the fact that we havent seen each other since i blogged about our second date ( due to him doing 10 day rotations and us living in different towns ) but i'd be stupid if i didnt notice his drop in conversation levels since i told him i was moving home. Despite not having seen each other we have been in regular contact and i think the spark has just gone because we havent been able to indulge it, but surely it cant be attractive to him that i know share a house with authority figures. Figures who make rules which make intimate relationships very difficult.
Aside from that one little issue, i'm not quite sure why i still feel a little odd. I a lame now that i live with my parents ? Is it sad that i've returned to the family home, even if it is for nole reasons? Or is it all in my head - or his ? Apparently, according to various articles i've seen or read in the past few years, there are a whole tonne of Gen-Yers living with their parents. Hell, some of them havent even left and come back, they've just remained stagnant in their childhood bedrooms. So why do i feel so...so...so turned about ? Like i've taken a huge step backwards, instead of seeing and knowing it for the opportunity it is.
But enough about me and my oncoming man drought. Hell, my continuing man drought. Other than my lack of male attention, things arent going so badly. Ive applied for some really great jobs and was talking to an old school friend early today who said she might be looking for a flatmate later this year. I might have scored me a place to live and a cool roomie, all in one!
Things are looking okay and you know what ? They have the potential to get so much better. r at least different. And dont they say change is as good as a holiday ?
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Now the challenge was to peruse the funniness at http://www.someecards.com/ and find a few cards that depict a little bit of who you are and what you're about. Trust me, it may take you a while - you'll be checking out the pages for ages! But here's what i came up with:
Yes, i am kind of a movie snob. I watch all these fancy, foreign, arthouse films and i actually like them. I encourage my friends to watch them, raving about how good they are and you know what ? Most of my friends are so NOT critically acclaimed movie people - they're blockbuster people or, much to my chagrin, sometimes they're immature spoof movie people. Dont get me wrong, i love a bit of " Billy Madison " or action moves where a lot of stuff blows up, but i need a bit of intelliegence sometimes. Apologies about that.
THis is for my friends. Pretty much, thats how i want to be thinking about you if i consider you as part of my inner circle. I'm super loyal, and you better be too. Like P, my best friend - she's totally invited to my funeral! I hope she makes cheesecake for everybody, in my memory of course....
Which is not to say i'm an unashamed horny biatch ( although we could be headed in that direction... ), just they i havent been getting out much. Its hard to meet people, to even have the opportunity for skanky one night shag, when you've been spending the majority of your weekend nights watching DVD's from the comfort of your loungeroom....
Aww, families, we all have one. I really like mine, as depicted above. Okay, maybe not all the wacky bastards - extended families can get seriously freaky! - but my immediate family ? I lubs them big lots. Thats us playing Trivial Pursuit by the way. My dad is cheating. Thats such a dad thing to do.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
* My hair looked really cute today. I usually straighten it and either leave it out or then throw it up into a ponytail, but today i had one peice of hair that just didnt want to go straight. So what did i do ? INsetad of wrestling with it, i just kicked the rest out at the ends aswell, so i had this cute little flippy thing going on.
* I listened to Panic at The Disco's new album " Pretty. Odd " on the way to work. I am loving this album right now. Its just quirky, hippy, slightly pyschodelic, sunshiney pop.... perfect start to the morning.
* A lady with a baby came in to have her eyes tested. The baby was probably only a couple of months old and he had a sweet shock of chicken-y fluff hair right on the crowd of his head. He smiled at me. Too cute!
*Both of my co-workers were in a good mood today, as compared to yesterday. It always makes things more fun if everybody has a good vibe going on.
* I was really productive at work today. I spent a long time staring at numbers and entering data, but we're caught up from having had Monday off work.
*I finished right on time - the clock tower bell chimed 5 o'clock and i was out of there, no having to wait back for straggling patients!
It was just one of those days we're all the good little things mount up until your floating along on a cloud of contentment. And you know how once you started " floating along " you start to seem floating in and out to ? At least i do. What i mean is once i'm having a really good day i start drifting off into daydreams, usually drifting right down Memory Lane, to other good times and events : hanging out on lunch breaks with friends at school; coming up out of Penn Station onto the streets of New York City for the first time; a lazy afternoon spent with a cute guy leading to the best sex ever; seeing John Butler Trio play in New York City and learning that all the Americans knew the words to " Zebra "; hanging out with my gorgeous neice and having her spontaneously say " I love you Aunty Amy " .... you know, all the good stuff. The stuff that sustain a person when they arent having such a great day.
So there you be. Hope you all had, or having a great day too. If not check out this here musical video and let Panic at the Disco make it all better .......
Monday, August 4, 2008
Amy, you are a precious jewel, sparkling brightly out of a box of paste blogs. You are the real deal. Genuine and true. You craft words with an artist's eye. Your talent for writing is a gift you use with such natural ease, that you ought to make it your vocation in life. You are a sweet and beautiful person, generous with your compliments and encouragement, you know how to make people smile. Determined and strong, you lead by example, and have wisdom beyond your youthful years. You are inspirational.....and you're a hot chic with a wicked sense of humour!
In case you were wondering, that was written by the wonderful Steph on her insightful and very entertaining blog " The Panic Room " . This was in response to a meme i challenged her to which required her to say something nice about the person who sent the challenge ( namely, well, me ).
And, now,my turn to say thank you. Sincerely. A huge thank you to you Steph because i think you understand better than most of my readers just how much kind words can mean. I read those words whilst having a lunch break from packing, and it seriously almost brought tears to my eyes. Those few sentences are almost the most beautiful compliment that anyone has ever paid me and the fact that it came from someone i know only through this wonderful invention called the "internet" means a lot. It means that something of me, something of who I am and who i am trying to be, is shining through in my words.
Thats my whole aim here - to share who I really am. I know that sounds all mushy and frankly, kind of fake, but its the truth - there are things i confess to here that i dont tell anyone in my real life, usually for fear of ridicule or just that peculiar funny look people give you when they know you're innermost secrets. Isnt it funny that I, that we as a collective of bloggers, dont mind giving of our secret selves to a handful ( or few million.... ) of strangers, yet some of us cant even fathom cluing our nearest and dearest into the sordid details ? But its oddly comforting to me that some random person in some random place can know my thoughts, that things can be off my chest and floating around in cyber space instead of clogging me up, instead of giving me emotional constipation ( as opposed to verbal diarrhea, which is what i usually have ).
So thank you - yes, YOU - anybody and everybody who is reading this, no matter who or where you are, for sharing and for taking on board all my emotional, pyschological and sometimes egotisitical ramblings. Muchos gracias, muchos.....
Sunday, August 3, 2008
But you know what ? I have this odd split feeling. Everything feels so familiar - i've put my bed in the same position as it was when i was a teenager, my clothes are all on the same shelves, things like that - but its all so weird too. I'm conflicted - i dont know whether i'm okay with moving back or not, and i dont know whether i should feel grateful that my parents are looking out for me, or irritated that my sister had to move out. Thats quite selfish actually, isnt it? Of COURSE i should be grateful. If it werent for their generous offer i'd probably soon be wallowing in debt. And its not exactly my sisters fault that she lost her job ( the place where she worked closed down ) but she isnt exactly trying enormously hard to look for more fulltime work, so i'm kind of peeved.
On the other hand, it might be nice to have actual conversations with people again. I dont know whether i mentioned it before but the few months my sister and i lived together we rarely had actual discussions - sure, we talked, we jibber-jabbered, but rarely did we sit down and actually talk. So it will be nice to able to, say, watch a news report and then be able to discuss the issue with my parents ( my father in particular ). Plus, it'll be good to save that little bit of extra money. That'll come in real handy when i make the move to Sydney, with its high cost of living and all.
So just think - this time next week i'll be blogging from the comfort of my old bedroom, hanging out on my bed with my cd player blaring, just the way i did when i was 15 yrs old. Only, back then, it was a paper and pen diary and i didnt have an audience....